Rebirth of Love: Jiang Ciyou's Counterattack Legend

Chapter 434 Emotional Numbness

Lu Jingchen sat alone in the dim room, surrounded by the smell of alcohol and cigarettes. His eyes stared straight ahead, as if he had lost focus. His eyes, which were once lively and full of enthusiasm, now became dull and empty. Since Jiang Ciyou left, every sunrise and sunset no longer had any meaning to him. His world was filled with endless darkness and coldness.

Time passed slowly in this small space, and Lu Jingchen's emotions seemed to be covered by a thick layer of frost. The heart-wrenching pain when he first learned that Jiang Ciyou had left, the despair of being abandoned by the whole world, gradually became blurred under the torture day after day. He no longer broke down and burst into tears when he thought of Jiang Ciyou's smile or a look like at the beginning. Now, facing those memories that once made him feel excited, his heart only had a faint ripple, and soon returned to calm.

He sat on the sofa, leaning forward slightly as if he had lost his support. The surroundings were in a mess, with empty bottles lying on the floor and cigarette butts piled in the ashtray. His fingers tapped unconsciously on the armrest of the sofa, a movement without any rhythm, just his body mechanically repeating a certain action. He was like a puppet whose soul had been taken away, and he had lost the ability to perceive everything around him.

The sun shines in through the gaps in the curtains, forming thin rays of light, and dust flies in the light. Lu Jingchen turns a blind eye to all this, as if his senses have been shut down. A friend calls, and the phone screen flickers a faint light in the dark corner. The ringtone rings over and over again, but he seems to have not heard it and has no reaction. He no longer cares about his friends' concern, nor does he desire contact from the outside world. In his world, there is only himself and the broken memories.

Once, he was a man full of love for life. He would stop to admire a blooming flower, be moved to tears by a beautiful song, and empathize with his friends' joys and sorrows. But now, all these beautiful emotions have left him. He looked at the street outside the window, pedestrians coming and going, and cars flowing continuously. In his eyes, those lively scenes were like black and white silent movies, without any color or warmth.

He recalled an art exhibition he had attended with Jiang Ciyou. At that time, they held hands and stopped in front of each painting, sharing each other's understanding and feelings about art. Jiang Ciyou's eyes sparkled, and her love for art and unique insights deeply attracted him. He also remembered that there was an oil painting depicting the seaside at sunset. Jiang Ciyou stood in front of the painting, and her silhouette was particularly beautiful in the afterglow of the sunset. She whispered, "The sea in this painting seems to have life, and it can make people feel its tranquility and power." And he looked at her quietly from the side, his heart full of love.

But now, when he recalled that scene again, he no longer felt the excitement and warmth he had felt before. He just remembered it faintly, just like recalling someone else's story. His heart was like a barren desert, and the springs of delicate and rich emotions that once existed had dried up.

He no longer even had any requirements for his image. His hair was messy and hung on his forehead, covering his once bright eyes. Stubble grew on his face, making him look even more haggard and desolate. His clothes were wrinkled and stuck to his body, exuding a mixed smell of cigarettes and alcohol. He no longer cared whether he was clean and tidy, healthy and energetic, as if these were irrelevant to a person who had lost love.

His friends and family were all worried about him, but he shut himself off in this small world and refused to let anyone get close to him. He felt like a lonely traveler walking on a dark road with no end, and everything around him had nothing to do with him. He was extremely indifferent to the care of his family and the worries of his friends, like a cold wall that isolated himself from the outside world.

He tried to find his former self, the one who was full of energy and love, but every effort was like groping in the dark, unable to find the direction. He knew that he had lost a lot of things, not just Jiang Ciyou, but also his passion for life, his care for others, and his expectations for the future. He felt like an orphan forgotten by the world, rotting silently in this corner.

He began to get used to this numb state, as if only in this way could he survive in this world full of painful memories. He no longer thought about what would happen tomorrow, nor did he recall the good old days. He just spent his life in this numb state day after day. His life became irregular, and there was no difference between day and night in his eyes. He would only lie on the messy bed and close his eyes when he was tired, but he could not really fall asleep.

Sometimes, he would suddenly wake up in the middle of the night, looking at the dark ceiling, his mind blank. He didn't know why he woke up, nor did he know what to do after waking up. He just lay quietly, listening to his heartbeat, which was the only sign of life he could feel. Although his body was still alive, his soul seemed to be dead.

He no longer had any interest in food. Even if his favorite food was placed in front of him, he would just mechanically put it into his mouth without tasting anything. The food that once made his taste buds cheer now seemed like tasteless wax. He also lost his sense of music. The melody that once immersed him now sounded like meaningless noise. Everything in his life that once brought him joy became tasteless.

He also became numb to the existence of people around him. Once, his friend was worried about him and came to his residence to visit him. The friend knocked on the door for a long time before he slowly opened it. Seeing his appearance, the friend wanted to talk to him distressedly and give him some encouragement and support. But Lu Jingchen just looked at his friend expressionlessly, and his friend's words blew past his ears like a gust of wind, and he did not respond at all. The friend tried to pull him out for a walk and breathe some fresh air, but he broke free from his friend's hand, turned back to the room, leaving his friend sighing helplessly at the door.

His vision of love has completely disappeared. He no longer believes that love can bring happiness. He feels that love is like a double-edged sword, which brings sweetness but also endless pain. He looks at himself in the mirror and feels that he is no longer the person who can risk his life for love. There is no love in his eyes, only a deep fatigue and indifference.

In this emotional numbness, Lu Jingchen seemed to have entered a space isolated from the world. He no longer participated in the joys and sorrows of life, but just let time pass in his own little world. His life seemed to have stopped moving forward, just spinning in place, constantly tortured by the memories of the past and the pain of the present.

However, in a corner deep in his heart, there seemed to be a faint voice calling out. It was his passion for life and desire for love, and although this voice was covered by a thick layer of numbness, it still existed, like a candlelight in the darkness, faint but never extinguished.

The author says:

Dear readers and friends, in this chapter, we see Lu Jingchen's emotional numbness after suffering a heavy blow in love. This numbness is not achieved overnight, but is gradually formed under long-term painful torture. Love is sometimes like this. It can make people feel the ultimate happiness, but it can also make people fall into an endless abyss of pain. When the pain reaches a certain level, a person's self-protection mechanism may be activated, using numbness to resist more harm. But is this numbness really a relief? In fact, it is more like an escape, trapping oneself in a cage with no exit. Lu Jingchen's state is a low point in his life and a necessary stage of his growth. I hope that everyone can feel his pain in the process of reading, and understand the helplessness behind his seemingly negative coping method. At the same time, let us look forward to how he can get out of this numbness and find the vibrant self again.