Casual Heroing

Chapter 41: Hot

Chapter 41: Hot

So, this 27/9 bull has finally caught up with me.

Why, you ask? Well, Im in front of Happy Bakery but its closed and theres barely any foot traffic around it.

What the hell?

Is it the equivalent of Sunday?

I knock a couple of times on the front door, but no one comes to answer.

I turn around and I notice that my usual escort is not around, either. I was too sleepy to notice when I got out of my apartment.

I need to ask someone, so I stop the first person I see on foot.

Excuse me! Excuse me! Thank you for stopping! Would you mind telling me why everything is closed today?

A plain-looking Elf raises his eyebrows, mutters something racists about humans and only then gives me an answer.

Its the Day of Ancestors, Human. Its our sacred holiday and all businesses are asked to stop so that people can spend this day with their families. Even most of the Watch is off-duty.

Ha, thats interesting.

I raise a finger because I want to ask more questions, but the Elf is already walking away. These Elves dont like Humans that much, huh?

Its different when Im in the company of another Elf, but when Im alone I can sort of feel all eyes on me.

I mean, this could be an incredibly efficient way to teach people about racism. Just let them be subject to it. Obviously, when I say racism, I mean real racism, the one that puts innocent people in jail or graveyards; not the one that had the poor guy who taught his dog the Nazi salute on YouTube go to jail or something.

Did that guy actually go to jail?

Oh, man, I wish I could search that on the Internet right now.

But Im digressing.

Hello! You must be Joey!

And right when I finish that thought, a beautiful, young, HOT Elf opens the door. For a second, it seems that Agostina, my landlady, lost all her old age and gained a smoking-hot, piping, steaming, salivating body.

I need a second here.

Am I having a stroke?

No, for real. Did I have a stroke? Or am I under some terrible spellI could argue the terrible, but am I under a spell that makes every woman look hot? Is this real?

Is Karma messing with me?

God, if you are there, are you messing with me?

How can it be possible that I meet so many hot women?

Not even NYC had this insane concentration of hotness.

What the hell. This is low-keyno, scratch that, this is high-key freaking me out.

And you know why?

Because nice things dont just happen to me without consequences! If Im meeting all these babes, Im pretty sure soon someone will try to whack me on the head with a spiked mace or something.

Agostina, whos now shoving the lovely girl to the side, looks at me with a reproachful look. She had noticed I was leering at whatever family member of hers had opened the door.

Yes, Luciani?

I look at the hot family member behind Agostina and decide that if I have to die, I better die among some hot girls.

So, you know how it goes

I stare at the hot Elf, smile, wink, nod, and say:

How you doin?